Tag Archives: reading

Language of thought

I just want to say a big thank you to all the avid readers of my blog. I have been receiving quite a number of requests to write in English, and I feel bad for those whose computer can’t display Chinese characters, and non-Chinese readers. But as I’ve replied to some fans in private, I just want to say, I love sharing my thoughts, views and feelings openly with everyone. Sometimes I think in Chinese, sometimes in English, and I end up expressing them in whichever language the thoughts were formed. To translate one to the other is possible, but it loses the emotional subtlety that is most precious to me. It’s my emotional world I want to invite you into, to share with you my intimate thoughts and present who I really am, apart from my on-screen persona(s). 🙂

Recently, I bought 《红楼梦》because I love literature, although not necessarily acing it during my JC years. *oops* (I bordered on failing throughout the two years). I love the period, the stage, the characters and most importantly, the language of literature, both English and Chinese. With every book, regardless of its genre, I find myself teleported into that time, watching the characters, feeling the emotional nuances they do and walking through the era they existed in. It’s always a very deep and thought-provoking experience and it is this, I like to share with all.

I can’t read Chinese fluently, more so if it is in traditional characters, but I try, because I’m intrigued and curious and never want to stop learning.

母亲节前夕的感触

我曾经说过要四个孩子,可是最近这个念头有些动摇。或许是每天报章里都提到物价上涨的趋势,又或许是一天我在银行看见了一个宣传广告提到现在的大学学费在十年后会起到双倍的事实,经济上的能力是个很残酷的考虑因素。

结婚,生育,养育孩子的话题最近一直在我身边环绕着。除了阿姐和阿哥的婚礼之外,我前两天为了i周刊的一个故事,访问了权怡凤大姐,她也跟我分享自己身为母亲的一些感受。

在加上我刚刚看完 “My Sister’s Keeper”,而且看到最后,眼泪簌簌留下。当时在化妆间,大家都被我吓到,以为发生什么事。哎,我就是这么投入剧情,深深的感受到故事里身为母亲的那种挣扎和痛苦。她为了救大女儿,和丈夫生了个designer baby,目的就是要利用妹妹身体的资源,来维持姐姐的性命。你能说她错了吗?后来妹妹决定起诉父母,要求medical emancipation,因为她不想在让医生利用她的身体了。母亲以为她自私,以为她对女儿们的想法和感受了如指掌,可是她究竟真的懂吗?还是她只想安抚自己是个尽责的母亲?

妹妹需要捐出她的肾脏给姐姐。姐姐身子弱,可能得到肾脏后也未必会活下来,可是得不到就肯定活不久,而妹妹又可能会遇到生命危险,到底要让谁去冒这个险呢?两者都是自己身上的肉,你可想像这是多么痛苦的抉择?

她拼命在为女儿的生存烦恼, 千辛万苦,可是却发现女儿如此不珍惜生命,那种打击又如何?

如果自己的女儿已经脑死, 而唯一在帮她呼吸的是一台机器,在关掉它的那一刻,算不算是亲手结束女儿的性命呢?

读到这里,我真的忍不住了,因为我心里是痛不欲生的。

母亲节的意义重大,因为在把孩子带到世界的那一刻,她早已牺牲自我。

这两位身穿黑色汗衫的就是宝宝的父母。

祝天下的母亲,母亲节快乐!