Tag Archives: jodi picoult

母亲节前夕的感触

我曾经说过要四个孩子,可是最近这个念头有些动摇。或许是每天报章里都提到物价上涨的趋势,又或许是一天我在银行看见了一个宣传广告提到现在的大学学费在十年后会起到双倍的事实,经济上的能力是个很残酷的考虑因素。

结婚,生育,养育孩子的话题最近一直在我身边环绕着。除了阿姐和阿哥的婚礼之外,我前两天为了i周刊的一个故事,访问了权怡凤大姐,她也跟我分享自己身为母亲的一些感受。

在加上我刚刚看完 “My Sister’s Keeper”,而且看到最后,眼泪簌簌留下。当时在化妆间,大家都被我吓到,以为发生什么事。哎,我就是这么投入剧情,深深的感受到故事里身为母亲的那种挣扎和痛苦。她为了救大女儿,和丈夫生了个designer baby,目的就是要利用妹妹身体的资源,来维持姐姐的性命。你能说她错了吗?后来妹妹决定起诉父母,要求medical emancipation,因为她不想在让医生利用她的身体了。母亲以为她自私,以为她对女儿们的想法和感受了如指掌,可是她究竟真的懂吗?还是她只想安抚自己是个尽责的母亲?

妹妹需要捐出她的肾脏给姐姐。姐姐身子弱,可能得到肾脏后也未必会活下来,可是得不到就肯定活不久,而妹妹又可能会遇到生命危险,到底要让谁去冒这个险呢?两者都是自己身上的肉,你可想像这是多么痛苦的抉择?

她拼命在为女儿的生存烦恼, 千辛万苦,可是却发现女儿如此不珍惜生命,那种打击又如何?

如果自己的女儿已经脑死, 而唯一在帮她呼吸的是一台机器,在关掉它的那一刻,算不算是亲手结束女儿的性命呢?

读到这里,我真的忍不住了,因为我心里是痛不欲生的。

母亲节的意义重大,因为在把孩子带到世界的那一刻,她早已牺牲自我。

这两位身穿黑色汗衫的就是宝宝的父母。

祝天下的母亲,母亲节快乐!

The Tenth Circle

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It’s one of those stormy days where I’d rather be sitting by the window, with a cup of coffee and a good book, hearing the raindrops hit the window.

I just got back from filming and the location was a young couple’s home in Punggol. I was early reporting for work today and had a bit of time to myself so I planted myself on their L-shape sofa by the floor to ceiling window to read my book “The Memory Keeper’s Daughter”. It’s not a feel-good book but I love the setting of the first chapter. Cold, wintry, harsh and difficult. I think it’s just perfect for Christmas. That aside, I wanna share this other book that I just finished reading with all of you.

I like Jodi Picoult because she has plenty of quotes about life, love, relationships which she use to round up sections of the story. Each paragraph is delivered with a punch that never fails to send shivers down my spine. I really liked the way it left me thinking about myself and the way my life parallels fiction. Her stories are ordinary yet this is exactly what is so frightening about it, that the things that happen to her characters could happen to us, the people we know and love, and when it really does, it wouldn’t just go away so easily with the flip of a page.

This book explores kinship and marital love through a man’s desperate attempt to reign in his character and prove to himself more than anyone else who he really is; the conflicts, desires, temptations faced by a growing teenager; and the emotional battle of a woman who is so afraid to confront the inconsistencies of her wants that she screws up her relationship with her husband and daughter.

It’s rather depressing to think about the lessons learnt, but in a perverse way, I’m also glad to draw certain conclusions from the story.

Anyone can try to hide who he really is, and for years, be able to fool the people around him, but the frightening truth is when you deceive yourself into thinking you have it all under control, that you actually believe you are no longer what you were before, when all it takes is just the click of a light bulb to unleash the nemesis from within. Where does that leave you?

The uncertainty that shrouds the mind of a growing teenager, who is bombarded with so much superficiality that she can’t differentiate right from wrong, imaginary from reality, who thinks she is saying something when everything else she does mean another. Reasoning and logic is marred with thrill and impulse. What if the only way out is to get yourself in? What if the only way to help is to stand and watch the worst happen?

If a conversation is punctuated with prolonged silences, you know something is wrong. You focus on why the relationship is not working out, instead of how it can work out; you blame the other person; you meet someone else and start anew. And then one day you realise that it’s you who has changed, not the other person. You realise that you are trying to fill up the so-called void in your heart when all these while you’re merely too full of yourself.

There is hope, I’m certain. Only if we are willing to confront who we are, and then let go.

All of it.