Monthly Archives: December 2012

My Struggle with the Pistol


This morning, the team from CLIF 2 arrived at the National Shooting Centre to film a scene.

One would think that my playing a policewoman for two seasons now would put me at ease with guns and ammunition. Unfortunately there was no thrill nor excitement. In place was a heavy heart, filled with fear and dread.

At one point I was overcome with grief as I stepped on the empty shells on the grass to take my position for the camera. It was, to me, a painful reminder of the children who lost their lives in Connecticut some days ago.

When I pulled the trigger of the pistol for the first time, I had to choke back tears because I realized just how easy it was to fire. And I was disheartened and relieved at the same time — for the safety our children are getting here from these weapons of war, some other place in the world is grieving from the lack of it.

It had been a tough morning as I battle my own demons not just with the flood of emotion but also with regard to the scene. We should never ever turn to shooting as a means of venting frustration. Not in the reel world nor the real world.

I pray that children around the world will have a chance to grow up, and not have their lives cut short because of human beings greed for money and power.