防人之心不可无


哈咯大家好!
今天刚刚从吉隆坡回来,有点有气无力。
这次的旅程是我这一年来的第一个国外之旅。也都不完全是,因为是去公干,而且只不过去一天。但是在这两天一夜里,我真的获益不浅。看到很多,学了很多,自己也不禁想了很多。

最重要的一堂课,让我觉得很心寒。因为我发现我真的太容易信任别人,而这将会是我在这行的致命伤。

知人知面不知心,很多看来很好,很愿意做个聆听者的人,其实就是在背后散播谣言的人。
记者常问,你在这行有没有好朋友。现在我开始相信更是不可能的。这里不是你对人家真心,人家就会对你真心。这里的 “我不跟你好!”也不是那么单纯的不喜欢。别人心里打什么主意,只有他们自己知,而我想我应该开始长大,开始戒备了,毕竟我到底要受伤几次?

想起来蛮失望的,原来大家只能做同事。

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38 responses to “防人之心不可无

  1. hi, i also hv the same feelings as u…i treat my colleagues like frens..but recently i found out that one colleague actually bought gifts for his frens cos he is leaving and he didnt give me any….is not the gift i want lah…is his frenship that i thought i value…but dun think he treats me as a fren

  2. Joanne dont feel so sad lah,i can understand how u feel,i dun trust ppl easily also hehe.Stay happy always!Rest well alright! Hope to see u soon!

  3. Hi Joanne=)

    This post of urs seemed to have hidden meanings in it even when I am reading with my weak chinese foundation=p.. hmm. What I can tell u is that whatever will be yours is urs, whatever is approaching will reach eventually. Things are hard to predict but u will never know..ur true friends are there for u when u need them most! there are all kinds of people in this world so do treasure the best and freeze when sharks come ya. haha.. noe e meaning? x)

    Have an early night and all the best for ur filming=)

    Hp.

  4. hi 勤劳的joanne

    donot be sad! 俗话说“一样米,养百样人”。林子大了,当然什么鸟都有的。社会交际可以说是一门艺术,它不同于同学之间的单纯交往,不过同样都需要的是真诚,只有真诚相处才能把一段关系,情感,健康的建立起来。当然社会上肯定也会有很多的“陷阱”,我们要做的正像你说的“害人之心不可有,防人之心不可无”。作为局外人,不可能真正完全的了解你们那个圈子的情况。不过妈妈常跟我说一句话“人善天不欺”。一时的得失,不愉快不要太在意,过去就算了,想多了只是为难自己,那又何必呢!人生苦短啊!呵呵,be happy lah!

  5. Hey gal, 其实我也感叹“只能做同事不能做朋友”这个现象。 存在在社会的猜疑往往在工作职场上被放大。 大家的疑心重,心机也重,所以偶尔会遇到以小人之心度君子之腹的情况, 和“两头蛇”人等等。

    当然,并不是说在同事之间完全没有发展为朋友的机会,只是较少罢了。 稀有品种, you know?  (物以稀为贵这句话 comes to mind。 或许就是因为知己难寻,因此该更加珍惜吧!) 日久见人心! 慢慢观察吧!

    最重要的是,要看得开,学着怎么恰当的保护自己吧! 加油! 

  6. never judge a book by its cover. yea, i guess so.

    been accused and backstabbed too many times to even count. one minute, they treat you like their best friend, while the next, they throw you one side and say they hate you.

    i guess you’re right. we shouldnt put these things to heart. it not only makes you feel more hurtful, but also affect the people who love and care about you.

    oh well, there’s nothing we can do about it now except to see if fate decides to take a turn!

    hope to see you soon! tc loads <33

    ahGOU.

  7. Yaloh , people is like that ,but still hav good also.
    You hav to choose slowly like went to pasar to buy the fish loh,man man tiao .Dunt worry ,I support u!!!

  8. hi joanne jie jie… happy happy tt u bloged something…=) so u went overseas…. no wonder u never blog and reply our emails 4 v long… did u enjoy youself there?? hope u did… waiting 4 u to reply my emails…=)

  9. Hi J,

    I can see that you must be hurt badly by someone. What to do? Humans can be multiple types. Live with it and carry on living.

    Best Regards,
    Elvanescene

  10. 的確,防人之心不可無。 但我覺得有時候越是明顯的,我們卻會忽略。

    這句話自古相傳,但我還是會選擇放下戒心去相信別人。
    對於我們這類人,是天真過了頭,還是願意去接受別人的優缺點呢?

    哈哈,其實我也才20來歲,
    但也因爲太相信人受過傷害,所以變得不太敢接近人。

    不過又好氣又好笑的是,
    如果人家來接近我,我就會又因爲同情or善意,去相信人然後又被利用了。。。 哈哈~有點白~

    媽媽說最擔心我的“笨”。。。
    不過試想如不去相信一次,或許就會錯過一生的知己。
    也許會被傷害,但因爲害怕而遠離似乎會讓自己更遺憾。

  11. 防人之心不可无,害人之心不可有。
    正所谓知人知面不知心,凡是还是小心为上啊!
    有时候的却会令人很心寒的,也许到最后你会发现,最可以相信的人,原来是自己吧?
    或者有时连自己也会怀疑自己?
    无论如何,请加油吧,在下正期待着你的<>呢!

  12. Hi Joanne,

    I don’t know what bad things happen in your life during your trip to KL, that make you so melancholic. I am not a super curious person, so if you are not comfortable sharing your plight with your fans, I will respect your decision. Whatever it is, it is just a lesson learnt. Personally, I feel it is a test of our judgement of character. If you are a good judge of character, then of course, you will know who you can trust and become close friends with, and who aren’t, but there some people hide their “true” characters super well too.

    Of course, I am not telling you to become gullible to trust everyone you meet with. It is easy to say, difficult to do. Nobody will have 坏人 engraved on their faces for you to see right? So just be yourself, and let time to allow you to understand a person more. Time and experience will let us know the person more, and it is up to you to decide after much interaction with him/her that he/she is worthy of your trust, to become close friends if you want to. Friendship is not as easy as it seems, and in the end, it is your decision whether or not to forge closer relationship.

    Anyway, I am also not a good judge of character too, and it is because of this that I tend to misunderstand my close friends, their good intentions. I myself have as much to learn as you.

    Best Regards,
    Yoke Peng

  13. 孤单小精灵

    看你那么沮丧,还蛮担心的!其实我觉得你应该往两方面想想看,而不是单方面地认为,就很像你说的“原来大家只能做同事”!如果大家一直都凭这个观念走下去,永远都超不出心里的那个界限,那么自己不是永远都无法找到‘真心朋友’吗!或许你会认为,你都没有受伤过,怎么能了解那种心情呢?可是不是因为受伤才能让自己成长吗,毕竟真心朋友不容易找啊,哪里能说没有过失败就能够成功的不是吗!说了那么多,希望你不要误会我的意思,我并非针对你的想法还是什么的,当然这只是我的意见!!!加油,永远支持你,也一直都相信你的决定,这里,真诚的祝福你能拥有个知心朋友,尽管是一万分之一的可能,我也相信你能找到!因为我非常明白,艺人的压力比大家都来的大,真的是需要个真心朋友的鼓励与陪伴,也知道艺人想找个真心朋友并不容易~~

  14. hello, what happens to you?

  15. hey joanne…your post sounds so sad. i know i’m in no position to say this, but then i believe THERE ARE colleagues that can be trusted as friends, maybe you haven’t found THE ONE person who can be trusted yet?

    take care!

  16. hmmmm..i used to be like that too…
    i believe in people so easily and was hurt terribly in the end

    perhaps those people thought that it is no big deal
    but actually they had stomped mercilessly on a broken and poor heart.

    anyway,we can never prevent or stop anything from happening because we cannot control what others say or do

    cheer up =)

  17. hihi Joanne,
    My aunt is the one on the plane who took down ur order and served ur food in the plane…hope u have recovered frm ur injuries,rest more ok dun stress yourself,drink lots of water,Bye:)

  18. I have admired you for your determination to juggle between studies and work back when you first started out. Your not only capable but pretty and I got to say you are indeed a really good role model for many of us out there.

    As i grow, i find myself evolving and changing according to my environment. As each day passes…my responsibilities burgeon and there are greater challenges that i have to face in life. The harshest fact that I have came to learn about along the way is i fight a battle all alone. I came to realise that the old adages such as’ Friends for life’ etc just another fairytale concoction. No one cares for others more than themselves. Everyone wants and hopes for the best for themselves and there’s really no one that i can trust. All i can count on is myself. Blood is thicker than water. My family is probably the only one i can fall back on.

    Though im still schooling and have yet to truly experience the viciousness of the corporate world but i can comprehend the complexity of it all and fully empathize with you. I once put all my trust into a relationship but the betrayal woke me up to my senses.

    I haven’t been here for a long time…this is probably my 4th time but unlike the typical blogs of other artistes that come across as a mere conduit to publicize themselves to me…its really touching to see that your one of the few who deviate from the norm and blog about topics that may seem less appealing but something so real and deep. I can see your sincerity in sharing with your fans thoughts and experiences that are meant to be personal and that left me in awe. I will definitely be visiting ajollyaffair.blogspot.com more often from now on. Looking forward to your updates =)

    I shall wish you all the best for stars award! All my friends and family will be rooting for you!

  19. 其实,你可以考虑去中国拍戏。虽然,中国还不算富,但是就算二线演员片酬都可以到5万人民币一集,而且制作很精良。现在,就算你看拍电影的话也都是中影这种大财团可能出钱拍。
    在新加坡,拍一辈子能怎样?最多一个什么超级红星。出了新加坡没人知道你。年轻人就要敢吃苦,敢尝试。
    章子怡,汤唯都曾付不出房租。
    林心如当时去内地发展,人们都不解。但是她现在之算是一,二线中段演员就可以每年轻松赚到3000万人民币。
    去闯闯看吧。不要留在这盼什么超级红星了。

  20. 别难过了。我也和你一样。 领教过一连串的背叛, 我也领悟到对人家真心,人家也未必会对你真心。 SMILE, JoANNE! It’s a lesson that all of us will learn as we step into this ‘hazy n political’ society. Right?

  21. oh, u went to Bonia event with Michelle right 🙂

  22. Wah seh…kena arrowed n knifed at the back wor….so u must learn how to be thick skin n put on a thick shell already. In this way ah, pple ‘suan’ or bad-mouthed u, it would just be a everyday passing remark.

    Jia you~Bai Zuo An~

  23. arhh finally u updated!! almost abandoned this place. haha glad to see ur new post :))

  24. 不只是娱乐圈会遇到这种人,在各行各业都是这样的.一种米百种人,即使身边的人也不能尽信.这就是社会的残酷.只要做事对得起良心和天地,这已经足够,管他人如何细语或暗箭伤人.希望你可以振作,其实在你失落时,还有一堆和你毫不相识的人在默默为你祝福.

  25. hi joanne,
    i realised tt i am abt the opp of u.. i dun trust ppl tt easily now.
    maybe cos im afraid of being hurt by the trusted ones. like after gg to fel blog. there are so many fakers dere. well~ dun dare to trust ppl tt easily. but, i believe, i do trust my frens. 🙂

    there are like backstabbers all over and stuffs. well.. come tt u will stay happy always.. [= andand i do understand those “gou xin dou jiao” and we always duno wad others are thinking. they may harm us the other minute. so well~ joanne jie.. hope u dun get affected much and.. some ppl are worth trusting after all. [=

  26. Carrie candies>

    Hi hi keep it up !

  27. haha. just came 2 say hi. u doing fine these days? speaking of these days, many people now dunno how 2 appreciate such a wonderful and kind and giving and caring and… actress like u. u so kind 2 let them get entertained by ur many shows but SOMEONE doesn’t appreciate miss joanne.

  28. Joanne,

    we are always learning as we grow, irregardless of the lessons being taught. Take myself as an example. Often, I always thought that by doing certain things out of my context, many will appreciate or understand my intentions, however it is not always the case. Many times I thought my friends are really really close buddies but not all are such. After many failures and falling down, gradually you begin to delete such friends away from your memories and this is when you realise that those who remained are starting to gain your trust but are they really the one?

    My friend always quote me this phrase, “I don’t care if people is out to cheat me or my money, but to me I can use this as an opportunity to buy a lesson.” Able to pick yourself up after you fall is what you are able to do until so far so please carry on. Don’t feel dishearten cause along the way, there are many other obstacles ahead. Cheer up and finally hear from you 🙂

    miss you, jacks0n

  29. hey there joanne! I kinda share the same sentiments and i guess we will meet encounters as such. i think you can try responding positively by taking in the constructive comments/criticisms and sifting out the 无建设性的. haa like they always say“人生不如意事常八九”! so just take it in your stride and be happy =)

  30. HI,

    Whatever it is, nothing is forever…
    There will be a day when things changes, people getting old and surrounding changes. This is the time when we will sit back and think what we did in the past….
    Dont be too sad!! It will be over soon…

  31. 嗨 joanne ..

    真抱歉… 由于考试刚完,忙着找工作,所以没有时间看你的 blog..

    其实我也和你一样,曾经有过这种单纯的想法, 不过我今年才领悟到其实我们得美丽的世界只不过是个虚幻。

    但我相信,将来你会找到你的知心朋友, 所以不要耿耿于怀或愁,那些伤害你的人不值得你去花精力和时间来愁。

    不要让这些伤害你的人带走你的笑容。

    经一事,长一智。
    别忘了:不要太轻易相信别人

    做个快快乐乐的你
    Cheerz .. =)

  32. hey joanne jie jie,

    dont be too sad abt it. sometimes i do have frens who betrayed me. but i thought, even i dont have this friend, i still can make other new frens which maybe better then before. so 要拿得起,放得下。
    wish you all the best for everything. hee hee:)

    with lots of love,
    Alicia(:

  33. hihi,so long nv come le.btw im kinda surprise tt u wud post this kind of thing up.anw i alr know tt tis kind of things in da industry.just say im a keen observer lorh.
    anw jia you bah,hehe.
    erm….if tagbord can b added…pls…..add can?

  34. 我很了解你的感受, 也很明白你心寒在那里!!!在演艺圈也好在新传媒外也好奇是不一定同事就不能成为朋友。要相信和把一个人当成朋友之前必须要了解那个人的性格。有其是同事,别伤心了,你身边还有我们。。。

  35. …我想每個人都是害怕受到傷害
    才會互相防範的-妳這麼聰明的人
    應該不會跟他們計較吧(笑)
    要多多體諒別人哦~

  36. Dear,

    You are right, dun believe people easily.
    Nowadays, i just clear my daily work and off @5.30pm.
    A COLLEAGUE IS ALWAYS A COLLEAGUE AND CAN NEVER BE FRIEND.

    Jessi

  37. d3viil xiiao derr love joanne

    jiayou…

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