L.O.V.E

Finally get down to watching this movie. I used to adore Jude Law, but that was when he acted with Nicole Kidman in Blue Mountain. In Alfie, he seemed like he’s playing himself, the playboy. His brownie points has just effectively dropped to zero.

In the final scene, he said he has everything, but no peace of mind. And when you don’t have that, you don’t have anything.

Hmm…interesting.

Well, the story goes he just can’t stick to one woman, call it commitment phobia, call it fleeting desires, the point is, the women give their all to him but gets nothing back, and he doesn’t feel bad about dumping them, or being dumped for that matter, until the end, when it bites back at him. Ah, that’s when he left the audience with that quote to think about.

Which reminded me of this article I read in a recent fashion magazine. There was a paragraph that mentioned how there are young successful divorcés who would date around post divorce. If they married young, they are doing so to make up for lost time; If they were dumped by their wives, they are doing so to boost their own ego. But after playing musical chairs, most of them would want to settle down, because nothing beats having someone to look after them, cook for them and be there for them at the end of the day.

Hmm, I guess that’s what Alfie is about too.

Some women think that’s so chauvinistic. In this egalitarian society, I guess, women are more empowered, and no longer need to take things lying down. But my stand is still quite traditional. I seriously don’t mind cooking and looking after the family while the man brings the bacon home, because that’s what I think a woman should and is capable of doing.

Now before all the ladies turn against me, this is purely the way I was brought up to think. So don’t hold it against me. Some values cannot change after so long. Still, I don’t particularly advocate being a housewife too, because homemakers also need to have their own hobbies, passion, or work, to keep them motivated, energised and youthful.

So how different are the wants of men and women?

I was having dinner with a girlfriend and she told me how she is facing quarter-life crisis. I don’t know what that really means (I guess it’s not something everyone goes through and even if we do, it turns out differently). Hers is an empty sort of feeling, of not knowing what you are really pursuing that will complete your life.

I suggested that she probably needs a man. She denies.
Then maybe it’s romantic love she wants. She denies.

Gee, women are always in self-denial. Haha, it’s true! I admit to that sometimes. Hee hee…

She says she doesn’t want to have a serious relationship.
She says it’s tiring to get to know someone all over again.

True, but isn’t the lack of stability that’s really tiring? I mean, when you date around as opposed to having a serious relationship. And you keep having to introduce yourself to many people instead of spending time getting to know someone better. At the end of the name game, you realise you don’t really know anyone well, and they don’t really know you. Sort of like Alfie, who is rich on the outside but poor emotionally.

You see, I figure the entire universe consists of relationships so how can we human beings not need relationships? Sure, we have friendship and family companionship, who needs love? I beg to differ. I think different forms of relationships satisfy different aspects of our lives. And romantic love is one big concept that plays a huge part in our lives.

Otherwise, why would people like me be so hooked on to melodramatic Korean love stories? Why would people commit crimes and do silly things when love goes wrong? Why is BGR such a big issue in schools and at home?

Because when you love and be loved, nothing else matters.